My dreams aren't always His..........what's more important??

It's been a long time since I've written a blog.

We've been trying to adjust to the changes the Lord has brought.  In the last 4 months we have moved out of our house that I thought we would raise the kids in and downsized for a few different reasons.  And both kids started school in August.  Our oldest started Middle School and that has been a major adjustment mostly for him and Mom:)  We have all settled in.  We LOVE our new home and city, the small town feel and going to different community events.  We love all of the outdoor amenities and keeping active with the kids.  And Isaac is doing amazing in Middle School after a couple times of forgetting Homework at school and many times of leaving his lunch box in his locker lol!

Life has settled to a new normal.  That's just the way I like it, normal......steady......unchanging:)  But don't we know that that is not usually the way the Lord leaves it?  I am one who is not a lover of change.  Tim would say I'm putting it mildly!  But the Lord knows that and that is one of the many reasons he gave me my amazing husband.  The Lord has used him so many times over the years to "nudge" me into something new that Jesus has for us.  He is a man who truly does seek God's will for his family and I am so thankful for that........most of the time lol!  I don't particulary love it when it means possible change.  I was watching What Not to Wear yesterday (love that show) and Stacey London gave a quote on that episode that I loved.  She couldn't remember where she had heard it but the quote was, "Life truly begins at the end of our comfort zone."  Of course she was talking about fashion, but it my mind it went to a different level:)  I really think that the Lord would agree with that quote.  His richest blessings and best changes in us begin at the end of our comfort zone.  Because that is when we are truly relying on Him and his strength and direction and not at all relying on our own.

So, just when I thought that things are "normal......steady......and settling in," the Lord is nudging my husband about something else.  He has been nudging my husband for over a year, to which I have been unresponsive and pretty much ignoring the whole thing.  If you ignore things they go away right?  Not true:)  Especially if you are truly seeking the Lord for His direction in your life.  If that's the case the nudging, and knocking on you heart continues until its more like banging on your heart:)

I will not talk about what this "thing" is right now because that is as far as we've gotten with it.  What I mean by that is there has not been an anwer from the Lord.........yet.  But you know what I know?...........He always answers.  And He always bring clarity if that's what we ar truly seeking.  And do you know what I am learning??  That we need to be intentional in our prayers.  If we need an answer, direction and clarity from the Lord, we need to look inside our hearts and be intentional.  We need to ask ourselves, who's desire is this??  Is this "dream" I have my own human dream or is it really God's dream for my life and my family.  Because if I can answer with a pure heart, as scary as it might seem to me I want nothing more than GOD'S WILL AND HIS BEST for my family.  And you know what?  His will and His best is always so much better than we could ever imagine.  I can draw on past anwers to prayer and remind myself of that when I am praying about these new possiblities.  I am sure you can too.

So be intentional in your prayers as a mom today.  Ask yourself, are these dreams I have for my children my own human desires or are they truly your desires Lord??  That is a hard thing to pray with a pure heart when it comes to your kiddos isn't it?  Let's just be honest:)  But we need to remind ourselves that we have given them to the Lord...........not just in word.  But we truly have given their entire lives to Him and he will give us the BEST direction for them.  Somtimes it might not "look" like it to us.  But let's remember, "For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face.  Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am known." (1 Cor. 13:12.)  We do not see the big picture for our lives or our families.  We need to fully trust the Lord that he does and He will not lead us atray..........if we can only put our FULL TRUST in Him

Staying Present

Something has been on my heart lately.  We have a lot of turmoil and trials going on around us right now, as a family.  Loved ones going through a lot, and if they're going through a lot then we're going through it right along with them. 

I want to be there in whatever way possible and Tim and I have been.  The thing is, it can take a lot out of you mentally, spiritually and emotionally if you aren't in the right place in your own life with the Lord.  If you are not filled up and full of Christ you cannot give to others and have anything left for yourself or you immediate family.  The point of this blog from the beginning has always been intentionality in every area of life but especially in being a wife and mom.

The Lord really starting teaching me this when Tim had his accident almost 16 months ago.  I could not control what had already happened and we had to lean on the Lord for strength like we never had before.  Then the road of troubles started for some of our loved ones right around the same time and I was not handling it well at first. I am a fixer and a doer for others and I was taking it on myself and it was leading litterally to stomach problems.  Let me tell you........you CANNOT take on the weight of your loved ones problems, you cannnot fix things for someone else, you cannot control decisions of others and if you are trying to.........stop.  I've been there and it will make you sick not to mention it will take you out of the "present" with those that matter most, your husband and kiddos.  After a couple of weeks of being sick on and off I realized this last year.  Since then I have found that I must have boundaries as much as I loved these people, my husband and kids are the most important thing.
The most important thing is that my household be filled with the Peace and Joy of Jesus Christ..........no matter what is going on around us.

I was reminded of that this last week in my daily devotional Jesus Calling and again in church yesterday when we were singing a song called Consume Me from the Inside Out.
The passage in Jesus Calling for March 24th said the following:
"This is a time in your life when you must learn to let go:  of loved ones, of possesions, of control.  In order to let go of something that is precious to you, you need to rest in My Presence, where you are complete.  Take time to bask in the Light of My Love.  As you relax more and more, your grasping hand gradually opens up, releasing your prized possesssion into My care.  You can feel secure, even in the midst of cataclysmic changes, through awareness of My continual Presence.  The One who never leaves  you is the same One who never changes:  I am the same yesterday, today and forever.  As you release more and more things into My care, remember that I never let go of your hand.  Herein lies your security, which no one and no circumstance can take from you." (based on Psalm 89:15, Heb 13:8, Isaiah 41:13)

Isn't that AMAZING to know.  I was thinking about this in church yesterday...........I'm a very visual thinker.  I was picturing myself and Jesus standing holding hands.  Then I was litterally picturing everything that is going on around me in the lives of those I hold most dear and it was all swirling around me like a tornado.  But I was standing in the middle holding the hand of Christ.  It was calm in the middle because I was making the CHOICE to stand with the Lord in the middle of the circumstances. 

Whatever you are in the middle of whether it be your own or the circumstances of those you love it's your choice where you are standing.  I have done both and let me tell you it's much calmer to stand in the middle with Christ and let him worry about the details.

It is a daily thing sometimes of making that choice, because I want to help those around me.  But sometimes........a lot of the time, there is nothing more you can do but hold the hand of Christ and pray.  And let me tell you that your husband and kids need you in the "present" with them and the only way to do that is to give whatever it is to Christ.  And I can testify to you that if you can completely do that He will give you His Peace and His Joy in whatever and I mean WHATEVER the present circumstances might be.

Today I was reading Isaiah 26:1-4............pleas go read and claim it for your family daily!!

Doing It All

I was talking to someone the other day and she said of another mom, "I'm so impressed because she does it all."  She went on to list all the things the other mom did and as I listened it actually made me sad.  They weren't things that would be drawing her closer to her family or husband at all.  Isn't that the way the world is?  So about accomplishments, and how many things we got done this day and how many places we went.  If we're stressed and frazzled and running a million places and managing to take care of our family we're "doing it all."

This has actually been on my mind for weeks.  I think that we should have a different standard as christians for "doing it all."  I truly believe Jesus views that phrase in a completely different light then the world does.  And so should we.  We should view it with Spiritual eyes and an eternal meaning.  To me "doing it all" is striving with the Lord's help to raise my kiddos to love and honor Him and others above all else.  To me "doing it all" is putting my husbands needs first and loving him in a tangible way.  To me "doing it all" is studying his word and asking him to grow me in the areas he sees that I need it.  I'm telling you that if we're giving it our utmost in these areas we're "doing it all" in Jesus eyes.

I just believe that we can simplify things as christians and be so less frazzled and stressed.  The Lord wants us to simplfy our lives so that we have time to focus on what's important............and that's the eternal.  It's not if we got our daughter to her 10 gymnastics lessons this week!  Okay I'm exaggerating a little, but you know that you know someone like that.  And then they fall into bed at night too tired to have barely kissed their kids goodnight let alone prayed with them and they definately didn't spend a moment of quality time with their man. 

Yes, I'm a little riled up about this.  Because we never get these moments back with our children and it's our job to "do it all" for them...........eternally speaking.

So, these are some practical things that we do in our house.  Let me say that we don't have it all figured out and will be striving to "do it all" in Jesus eyes til the day we die.  But we definately try to make it our daily focus.  Back to the practical:):
~The kids never do more than one sport each.  And they do not always have to be doing something.  Isaac has been done with football since November and is taking a break from anything.  So he actually has down time after school.  Kids need down time and don't have it enough these days.
~We eat dinner together on average 5 nights a weeks.  I make dinner and we sit down together.  I know that some moms work and it doesn't have to be anything crazy and gourmet.  As a matter of fact last night I was exhausted so we all ate something of our choice, but we sat down together at the table, TV OFF and ate and talked.  I was astounded at some statistics I found.  I don't think some parents take this simple thing serious enough.  The statistics are from a study done by the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University.  Kids who eat a sit down dinner with their families on a regular basis are 40% more likely to get As and Bs in school.  They are also less likely to smoke, drink, do drugs, get depressed, develop an eating disorder or consider suicide.  Can you believe that?!  That's huge and obviously important.
~Another thing we do is plan family nights on the calendar and I literally pencil them in.  It could be as simple as playing a board game....my kids love that.  Or making some popcorn and watching a movie together.  Last week we went miniature golfing..........I'm the champ by the way!:)  I think it's good to teach my kids to lose gracefully!  Haha!
~Every night we sit in one of the kids rooms and have family time with the Lord.......we always switch off to be fair, you know how kids are:)  So, we have a little book for each of the kids that I talked about in a previous blog, Jesus Calling that we read from.  It has some scriptures at the bottom, and then we discuss it together.  And the kids will come up with the coolest questions that spark the best discussions.

Anyway those are just a few things we do and believe me we are constantly learning and asking the Lord for fresh ideas for our family.  I encourage you to take your responsibilities as Mom and Wife seriously and to view them "eternally."  Let's "do it all" the way Jesus wants us to and not the way the world says we're supposed to.  We're in this world but not of it and I encourage you it is so possible to live differently, not easy sometimes but possible.

Like I said this has been on my heart for weeks and then I opened my Jesus Calling devotional today and it was like it's on the Lord's heart too:)  This is what todays page said based on Eph. 4:1-6 and John 10:4:
I love you for who you are, not for what you do.  Many voices vie for control of your mind, especially when you sit in silence.  You must learn to discern what is My voice and what is not.  Ask My Spirit to give you this discernment.  Many of My children run around in circles, trying to obey the various voices directing their lives.  This results in fragmented, frusterating patterns of living.  Do not fall into this trap.  Walk closely with Me each moment, listening for My directives and enjoying My Companionship.  Refuse to let other voices tie you up in knots.  My sheep know My voice and follow Me wherever I lead.

Isn't that awesome?!!  Let's ask the Lord today to help us listen only to His voice and he will help us "DO IT ALL" for His GLORY!

Giving a Great Marriage to Our Kids

So yesterday Tim and I celebrated our 14th wedding anniversary..............which by the worlds standards is an eternity and incredibly long.  The sad thing is it's becoming a major accomplishment even within christian circles too.  We've been through a lot in the last two years as a family and I am so thankful to say that it has done nothing but bring me and my husband closer.  I cannot attribute that to any great gifts of our own but only to the two of us keeping our eyes on Jesus.  I know this because there have been moments through it all where our eyes faltered and so did our lives in those moments.  When that happens you have to recognize it quickly and re-focus your "view".

What does this have to do with being an "intentional" mom??  I wrote in an earlier post about how much our kiddos are watching us.  So much more than we realize.  Well, my intention is to give them a feeling of stability and being safe always within this family of ours.  So, the best thing I can do is give them a great marriage.  Not just "stay in it for the kids" or an "okay marriage".  I want to give them a great one!!  A marriage where they will watch and one day with Jesus help and my prayers, choose nothing less for themselves.

We should not strive to have this kind of marriage just for our children but also for ourselves and the Lord.  He created this amazing union that so many of us have entered.  And the Bible says everything that flows from HIS HANDS is not just good but perfect!!  I want that in my family and in my marriage.  But it's going to take us working hand in hand with the Lord.  And yes he cares about every aspect of your marriage because he created it.  He cares about your spiritual connection with your husband, your finances, every interaction with him............even your intimacy.  So give every area to the Lord and he will help you to be creative and intenional with your husband.

I don't know about you but I do not want to miss one second of my life and all the Lord as intended for me and my family.  And his intentions are for our marriages to be smokin' hot and soooo much fun!!  And for our children to be witnesses to that is such a good thing and a "God thing"!!

Emma's favorite thing to say lately is, "I love our family."  She'll just randomly bust out with that lately and it just makes my heart feel so good and thankful.

So, today if you aren't in a good place in your marriage, ask the Lord for intention in that area and a new and vibrant love for your husband.  The Lord is faithful ALWAYS the Bible says and he will be faithful in this area as well. 
Just a couple of practical ways to give to your marriage and involve you children as well:
So, tonight Emma and I will make a yummy dessert to serve after dinner in honor of our Anniversary.  And this weekend the kids will spend the night with my parents so that we can have some alone time in our home without the kids.  That is the best feeling, being together at home without the kids..........you all know I mean that in the best way possible! I do love my children! Haha!
Jeremiah 29:11-14 says that he has amazing plans for us.  Plans of hope and a future!  Now to me, that does not sound like we should be settling for a mediocre life in any area.  It goes on to say that he will bring us out of exile.  That means no matter where your marriage is at he can bring you out of captivity and back to an amazing place!

Jesus Calling

Our church passed out these amazing devotionals at the beginning of the year.  My husband and I have been reading them.  They're short, one page per day.  But this author is amazing!  She writes them based on scipture but in Jesus' words, so it's like he's speaking right to you........so good!! 

I went on Amazon to order one for someone else and found that she has a version for kids.........I'm so excited!!  Something I have tried to be "intentional" (this word is kind of the theme of this blog, in case you hadn't already figured that out) about with my kiddos is fostering and encouraging in them their own personal relationship with Jesus ever since they asked him into their hearts at ages 4 and 5.  When you grow up in church and around "christianese" your whole life as I was, sometimes it's hard to figure out who Jesus is to you.  You know what he is to your pastor and parents and teachers (yes I went to christian school too), but it takes a while for it to become personal to you, when he's already such part of your life for as long as you can remember.

I am so thankful he was pretty much always a part of my life.  I do however, want to do whatever I can to make it easier for him to become real and personal to my kiddos:)  We talk a lot with them about how going to church doesn't make you a christian.  That it's the personal, everyday talking with him spending time in your Bibles that creates that "relationship."

Our kids spend time by themselves, at bedtime reading their Bibles.........they started that on their own, isn't that so cool!?  I'm very proud of them for that and pray that what they're reading sinks deep into their hearts.  Although at one point we had to steer Isaac away from Leviticus:)  He kept coming in our room to ask what certain words meant!  Yikes, if you've ever read Leviticus you'll know what I'm talking about!:)  Although it lent to some great conversations that's for sure:)

Even if your kids are younger, you can read to them or get them those fabulous children's Bibles that have the pictures with the stories.  Emma loved hers for years.

I encourage you to help your kiddos make Jesus personal today.  Motherhood is one of our highest callings and leading our kiddos to Jesus and all his fabulousness is the best thing ever!
The name of the book I ordered for my kids is Jesus Calling:  365 Devotions for Kids by Sarah Young.

They're Watching Me

THEY'RE WATCHING US CONSTANTLY.  I'm talking about our children.  Think back to when you were a kid and think of how things you observed formed certain opinions or ideas or even traits in you.  Did the things you observed create, insecurities, issues with anger, a not so good idea of how to treat a spouse?  Or did they create security in yourself and your family unit, happiness and a great outlook on marriage and life?  Holy cow can I say it again??  Our kids are watching us closer than we realize sometimes.  And so I am challenged everyday to be that Christ-like example in every area to them.  Do I fail?  CONSTANTLY.  But do you know what the important part is?  When we do fail and we will, let's be intentional (yes there's that word again) about going to our children and talking to them about how we failed and apologizing if it had to do with them.  Even if it didn't have to do with them and it was something they wtinessed, explaining to them how Mommy should not have acted that way.  What a great example of redemption to them.  What a great model of making a mistake and asking the Lord to forgive us. 

I don't know about you but I don't want to put on this fake, parents don't make mistakes persona with my kiddos.  I want them to think of me as open and accessable and actually not perfect.  The Lord allowed a perfect example last night:)  Tim and I got in an argument right after we put the kids to bed last night, it actually started in Isaac's room in his presence.  Now, I guess that we could have not even addressed it with him, but he witnessed the beginning of it and I don't want to ever leave him feeling insecure about our family or our marriage.  So, we both went back into his room later on and talked to him and let him know that we should not have talked to each other as husband and wife the way we did.  We also talked to him about parents fighting and that it's going to happen, but we love each other and are committed to Jesus and each other.  Our kids hear this every time we have an argument that they might have heard (truly we don't argue escessively:))  Be intentional about communicating these things with your kiddos and be encouraged that this creates security in them and understanding.  I don't think that the kids should never see you fight, that's giving an unrealistic view of marriage that they could carry for a long time.

Let's be open communicators with our kids.  Obviously keeping it age appropriate:)  My kiddos are at the age now where they're understanding so much and thinking about things I don't even realize they are sometimes. 

Here's another "intentional" to do:)  Show your husband affection in the presence of your kiddos!  If you ask our kids if they know Mommy and Daddy love each other, they would answer emphatically YES!  In fact they would probably add that Daddy thinks Mommy is "hot!"   Yes, they do know that word.  They know they aren't allowed to use it in regards to someone, but they have heard their Father say it around our house:)  Again, this creates security in their little lives and I believe models a great marriage relationship.  It's a normal thing in our house......affection:)  In fact, they usually run over and join in the hug and then the moment is ruined for us:)  I challenge you, if this is foreign or hard for you, to try to start at least once a day in front of your kiddos giving your man a big hug or kiss:)  And if you already do this keep it up!

Let's be communicating, affectionate moms and wives!  Remember you set the temperature of your home, so let's keep it "HOT!"  Haha!  Had to throw that in:)
Let's ask the Lord today what areas we need to be more "intentional" in with our families.  Psalm 32:8 says, "I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go, I will counsel you with my loving eye on you."  And in turn Proverbs 22:6 says that we are to "Start children off on the way they should go and even when they are old they will not turn from it."
Be encouraged today that you are YOUR kids mom and YOUR Husbands "girlfriend" (stole that from Dr. Laura) for God's reason and a specific purpose, so rise to the challenge and pray and ask the Lord to help you be the best at both today!

Today's a Good Day to Have a Good Day

So, I think that traumatic life experiences can definately change our perspective.  I've always thought this, but kind of from watching others traumatic experiences and thankful that I hadn't really had a whole lot myself, but still trying to learn from theirs:)  If that makes sense........

My husband and I have been married for 14 years in just a couple of weeks.  We have definately had difficulties along the way but nothing that we would consider too traumatic.  I think the longer you've been married you will at some point go through your very own "hard time."  Last year on New Years Day 2010 I receive one of the worst phone calls of my life and we began the hardest journey as a family we've ever been on.  My husband a Police Officer, had been in an accident on his motorcycle at work.  I rushed to the hospital with my mom and thus began an incredible journey of now going on 13 months recovery for my sweet husband.  He was left with a concussion, broken clavicle, broken and dislocated thumb, broken tibia and fibula and a shattered and dislocated ankle.  What I have been struck by through all of this is how in an instant our lives can change.  I don't say this to be morbid at all, but I have learned to live every day differently and more intenionally for sure.  My husband is blessed to be alive and we believe a walking miracle!!  The doctors told us that first week they didn't know if he would be able to do his job again. Well, he IS doing it again.  He is still slowly recovering, but quicker than the docotrs thought.  Ezekiel 37........read it!!  Whatever is going on in your life that seems dried up and dead, claim this verse over it.  Be intentional in your prayers, do not pray vague prayers with our God.  You pray specific prayers and you claim this passage over them.  The Lord can take "dry bones" figuratively or litterally in my husbands case and breathe life back into them.  Whether it be a difficult child, a dream you once had,a broken marriage or friendship, or a loved one's health..........the Lord is the Life Breather!!

I was at a women's conference at my church last weekend and one of the leaders in a workshop I was taking said something.  I had heard it before but loved the reminder.  We as the Mom's and Wives of our homes are setting the emotional/spiritual temperture of our home.  Your kids pick up so much more than you realize so we need to be intentional about living every day to the fullest and teach our kiddos to do the same!

I am reading this new devotional called Jesus Calling by Sarah Young.......if you don't have it get it!!  It has a small passage for each day.  She takes a couple of verses and paraphrases them and words them like Jesus is speaking directly to us.  Today's passage is base on Romans 8:31, 2 Cor. 4:18, Gen. 16:13-14 and it says:  "I am with you and for you.  You face nothing alone-NOTHING!!  When you feel anxious, know that you are focusing on the visible world and leaving Me out of the picture.  The remedy is simple:  Fix your eyes not on what is seen but on what is unseen.  Verbalize your trust in Me, the living one who sees you always.  I will get you safely through this day and all your days.  But you can find Me only in the present.  Each day is a preciousl gift from My Father.  How ridiculous to grasp for future gifts when today's is set before you!  Receive today's gift gratefully, unwrapping it tenderly and delving into its depths.  As you savor this gift, you find Me.
 Let's teach our kiddos to do this as well.  Let's be intentional in giving every day to the Lord and what an example we will be to our children.
Every morning before school the TV is OFF in our house!:)  What a thought, huh?!!!:)  While the kids are eating and getting dressed and ready to go out the door the TV stays off.  But today I was a little more intentional and put on a new worship CD that we just bought.  One of the songs is so catchy and I just love the words, and the kids were singing it all the way to school.  I think it shall be my new Mantra:)  Here are just a few of the words: "Seems that there are times that will never make sense on this side of Heaven.  Injustice so intense.  Open your eyes now, cuz the worst part is over.  IT'S A GOOD DAY TO HAVE A GOOD DAY!!

Let's claim this everyday for ourselves and our families!!  Let's intentionally live for today!

Can't Believe It!

So, I never thought I would be doing this.  In fact, I have even been a little negative in my head about blogging and those that do it:)  My thoughts were, wow that's a little self centered and narcisistic.  But, then the today I was talking with the Lord as I was folding laundry and praying for my son's speech he has to give in his 5th grade class.  And the Lord was encouraging me on "being intentional" with my kiddos.  That is something I strive extremely hard to be.  Actually I strive hard to be intentional in life in general.  I think that if we don't we can become overwhelmed with busyness, to many things pulling us in too many directions.  It is seriously the way of the world these days.  And we, as christians are supposed to be set apart from the world, right?  Wow how hard is that sometimes.  I don't want to be that mom that is being pulled in so many directions that I cannot be intentionally involved and "present" with my children. 

If that means that I have to write our family nights on the calendar, or only allow one extra curricular activity for each child, or make sure that we have a sit down dinner at least a few nights out of the week then those are the things I will "intentionally" do.  I think that in todays society we actually are taught that the longer the lists of errands we've run, jobs we have or activities our kids are involved in the higher the level of "motherhood".  That's total crap in my opinion, and yes I have a lot of opinions:)

The first thing that I strive to be intentional with his my Lord.  The second, is my husband and the third, my children.  I decided this a couple of years ago when they got into the upper elementary grades and really started developing socially.  I want to be someone they feel they can turn to.  So far so good and they are in 3rd and 5th grade.......almost middle school for my son and that FREAKS me out a little:)  Anyway, I want them to know and feel that our family unit is a team.  I want them to feel that whatever we go through there is stability in our "team." 

I definately do not have it close to figured out but I feel like the Lord wants me to share some things I have already learned and others maybe as I'm learning them.  I just hope they will encourage other moms to also live life intentionally.  I know some moms that run around so frazzled and they are stay at home moms but they on not enjoying what is one of our highest callings.  I can testify that we can enjoying being moms and pouring into our kids lives.  Do I have crazy days where I want to run into a field and scream?  Absolutely!!:)  But I believe if we are living life intentionally and experiencing the Lord's peace those days should be few and far between:)

Two other examples of intentional living that I do with my kiddos: 
~Every night at the dinner table we go around the table and say one positive thing about our day and one challenging thing.
~Every day on the way to school in the car we pray together for their day and our day as a family.

Remember:  Live your life intentionally, we only get to live it once:)