Giving a Great Marriage to Our Kids

So yesterday Tim and I celebrated our 14th wedding anniversary..............which by the worlds standards is an eternity and incredibly long.  The sad thing is it's becoming a major accomplishment even within christian circles too.  We've been through a lot in the last two years as a family and I am so thankful to say that it has done nothing but bring me and my husband closer.  I cannot attribute that to any great gifts of our own but only to the two of us keeping our eyes on Jesus.  I know this because there have been moments through it all where our eyes faltered and so did our lives in those moments.  When that happens you have to recognize it quickly and re-focus your "view".

What does this have to do with being an "intentional" mom??  I wrote in an earlier post about how much our kiddos are watching us.  So much more than we realize.  Well, my intention is to give them a feeling of stability and being safe always within this family of ours.  So, the best thing I can do is give them a great marriage.  Not just "stay in it for the kids" or an "okay marriage".  I want to give them a great one!!  A marriage where they will watch and one day with Jesus help and my prayers, choose nothing less for themselves.

We should not strive to have this kind of marriage just for our children but also for ourselves and the Lord.  He created this amazing union that so many of us have entered.  And the Bible says everything that flows from HIS HANDS is not just good but perfect!!  I want that in my family and in my marriage.  But it's going to take us working hand in hand with the Lord.  And yes he cares about every aspect of your marriage because he created it.  He cares about your spiritual connection with your husband, your finances, every interaction with him............even your intimacy.  So give every area to the Lord and he will help you to be creative and intenional with your husband.

I don't know about you but I do not want to miss one second of my life and all the Lord as intended for me and my family.  And his intentions are for our marriages to be smokin' hot and soooo much fun!!  And for our children to be witnesses to that is such a good thing and a "God thing"!!

Emma's favorite thing to say lately is, "I love our family."  She'll just randomly bust out with that lately and it just makes my heart feel so good and thankful.

So, today if you aren't in a good place in your marriage, ask the Lord for intention in that area and a new and vibrant love for your husband.  The Lord is faithful ALWAYS the Bible says and he will be faithful in this area as well. 
Just a couple of practical ways to give to your marriage and involve you children as well:
So, tonight Emma and I will make a yummy dessert to serve after dinner in honor of our Anniversary.  And this weekend the kids will spend the night with my parents so that we can have some alone time in our home without the kids.  That is the best feeling, being together at home without the kids..........you all know I mean that in the best way possible! I do love my children! Haha!
Jeremiah 29:11-14 says that he has amazing plans for us.  Plans of hope and a future!  Now to me, that does not sound like we should be settling for a mediocre life in any area.  It goes on to say that he will bring us out of exile.  That means no matter where your marriage is at he can bring you out of captivity and back to an amazing place!

Jesus Calling

Our church passed out these amazing devotionals at the beginning of the year.  My husband and I have been reading them.  They're short, one page per day.  But this author is amazing!  She writes them based on scipture but in Jesus' words, so it's like he's speaking right to you........so good!! 

I went on Amazon to order one for someone else and found that she has a version for kids.........I'm so excited!!  Something I have tried to be "intentional" (this word is kind of the theme of this blog, in case you hadn't already figured that out) about with my kiddos is fostering and encouraging in them their own personal relationship with Jesus ever since they asked him into their hearts at ages 4 and 5.  When you grow up in church and around "christianese" your whole life as I was, sometimes it's hard to figure out who Jesus is to you.  You know what he is to your pastor and parents and teachers (yes I went to christian school too), but it takes a while for it to become personal to you, when he's already such part of your life for as long as you can remember.

I am so thankful he was pretty much always a part of my life.  I do however, want to do whatever I can to make it easier for him to become real and personal to my kiddos:)  We talk a lot with them about how going to church doesn't make you a christian.  That it's the personal, everyday talking with him spending time in your Bibles that creates that "relationship."

Our kids spend time by themselves, at bedtime reading their Bibles.........they started that on their own, isn't that so cool!?  I'm very proud of them for that and pray that what they're reading sinks deep into their hearts.  Although at one point we had to steer Isaac away from Leviticus:)  He kept coming in our room to ask what certain words meant!  Yikes, if you've ever read Leviticus you'll know what I'm talking about!:)  Although it lent to some great conversations that's for sure:)

Even if your kids are younger, you can read to them or get them those fabulous children's Bibles that have the pictures with the stories.  Emma loved hers for years.

I encourage you to help your kiddos make Jesus personal today.  Motherhood is one of our highest callings and leading our kiddos to Jesus and all his fabulousness is the best thing ever!
The name of the book I ordered for my kids is Jesus Calling:  365 Devotions for Kids by Sarah Young.

They're Watching Me

THEY'RE WATCHING US CONSTANTLY.  I'm talking about our children.  Think back to when you were a kid and think of how things you observed formed certain opinions or ideas or even traits in you.  Did the things you observed create, insecurities, issues with anger, a not so good idea of how to treat a spouse?  Or did they create security in yourself and your family unit, happiness and a great outlook on marriage and life?  Holy cow can I say it again??  Our kids are watching us closer than we realize sometimes.  And so I am challenged everyday to be that Christ-like example in every area to them.  Do I fail?  CONSTANTLY.  But do you know what the important part is?  When we do fail and we will, let's be intentional (yes there's that word again) about going to our children and talking to them about how we failed and apologizing if it had to do with them.  Even if it didn't have to do with them and it was something they wtinessed, explaining to them how Mommy should not have acted that way.  What a great example of redemption to them.  What a great model of making a mistake and asking the Lord to forgive us. 

I don't know about you but I don't want to put on this fake, parents don't make mistakes persona with my kiddos.  I want them to think of me as open and accessable and actually not perfect.  The Lord allowed a perfect example last night:)  Tim and I got in an argument right after we put the kids to bed last night, it actually started in Isaac's room in his presence.  Now, I guess that we could have not even addressed it with him, but he witnessed the beginning of it and I don't want to ever leave him feeling insecure about our family or our marriage.  So, we both went back into his room later on and talked to him and let him know that we should not have talked to each other as husband and wife the way we did.  We also talked to him about parents fighting and that it's going to happen, but we love each other and are committed to Jesus and each other.  Our kids hear this every time we have an argument that they might have heard (truly we don't argue escessively:))  Be intentional about communicating these things with your kiddos and be encouraged that this creates security in them and understanding.  I don't think that the kids should never see you fight, that's giving an unrealistic view of marriage that they could carry for a long time.

Let's be open communicators with our kids.  Obviously keeping it age appropriate:)  My kiddos are at the age now where they're understanding so much and thinking about things I don't even realize they are sometimes. 

Here's another "intentional" to do:)  Show your husband affection in the presence of your kiddos!  If you ask our kids if they know Mommy and Daddy love each other, they would answer emphatically YES!  In fact they would probably add that Daddy thinks Mommy is "hot!"   Yes, they do know that word.  They know they aren't allowed to use it in regards to someone, but they have heard their Father say it around our house:)  Again, this creates security in their little lives and I believe models a great marriage relationship.  It's a normal thing in our house......affection:)  In fact, they usually run over and join in the hug and then the moment is ruined for us:)  I challenge you, if this is foreign or hard for you, to try to start at least once a day in front of your kiddos giving your man a big hug or kiss:)  And if you already do this keep it up!

Let's be communicating, affectionate moms and wives!  Remember you set the temperature of your home, so let's keep it "HOT!"  Haha!  Had to throw that in:)
Let's ask the Lord today what areas we need to be more "intentional" in with our families.  Psalm 32:8 says, "I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go, I will counsel you with my loving eye on you."  And in turn Proverbs 22:6 says that we are to "Start children off on the way they should go and even when they are old they will not turn from it."
Be encouraged today that you are YOUR kids mom and YOUR Husbands "girlfriend" (stole that from Dr. Laura) for God's reason and a specific purpose, so rise to the challenge and pray and ask the Lord to help you be the best at both today!

Today's a Good Day to Have a Good Day

So, I think that traumatic life experiences can definately change our perspective.  I've always thought this, but kind of from watching others traumatic experiences and thankful that I hadn't really had a whole lot myself, but still trying to learn from theirs:)  If that makes sense........

My husband and I have been married for 14 years in just a couple of weeks.  We have definately had difficulties along the way but nothing that we would consider too traumatic.  I think the longer you've been married you will at some point go through your very own "hard time."  Last year on New Years Day 2010 I receive one of the worst phone calls of my life and we began the hardest journey as a family we've ever been on.  My husband a Police Officer, had been in an accident on his motorcycle at work.  I rushed to the hospital with my mom and thus began an incredible journey of now going on 13 months recovery for my sweet husband.  He was left with a concussion, broken clavicle, broken and dislocated thumb, broken tibia and fibula and a shattered and dislocated ankle.  What I have been struck by through all of this is how in an instant our lives can change.  I don't say this to be morbid at all, but I have learned to live every day differently and more intenionally for sure.  My husband is blessed to be alive and we believe a walking miracle!!  The doctors told us that first week they didn't know if he would be able to do his job again. Well, he IS doing it again.  He is still slowly recovering, but quicker than the docotrs thought.  Ezekiel 37........read it!!  Whatever is going on in your life that seems dried up and dead, claim this verse over it.  Be intentional in your prayers, do not pray vague prayers with our God.  You pray specific prayers and you claim this passage over them.  The Lord can take "dry bones" figuratively or litterally in my husbands case and breathe life back into them.  Whether it be a difficult child, a dream you once had,a broken marriage or friendship, or a loved one's health..........the Lord is the Life Breather!!

I was at a women's conference at my church last weekend and one of the leaders in a workshop I was taking said something.  I had heard it before but loved the reminder.  We as the Mom's and Wives of our homes are setting the emotional/spiritual temperture of our home.  Your kids pick up so much more than you realize so we need to be intentional about living every day to the fullest and teach our kiddos to do the same!

I am reading this new devotional called Jesus Calling by Sarah Young.......if you don't have it get it!!  It has a small passage for each day.  She takes a couple of verses and paraphrases them and words them like Jesus is speaking directly to us.  Today's passage is base on Romans 8:31, 2 Cor. 4:18, Gen. 16:13-14 and it says:  "I am with you and for you.  You face nothing alone-NOTHING!!  When you feel anxious, know that you are focusing on the visible world and leaving Me out of the picture.  The remedy is simple:  Fix your eyes not on what is seen but on what is unseen.  Verbalize your trust in Me, the living one who sees you always.  I will get you safely through this day and all your days.  But you can find Me only in the present.  Each day is a preciousl gift from My Father.  How ridiculous to grasp for future gifts when today's is set before you!  Receive today's gift gratefully, unwrapping it tenderly and delving into its depths.  As you savor this gift, you find Me.
 Let's teach our kiddos to do this as well.  Let's be intentional in giving every day to the Lord and what an example we will be to our children.
Every morning before school the TV is OFF in our house!:)  What a thought, huh?!!!:)  While the kids are eating and getting dressed and ready to go out the door the TV stays off.  But today I was a little more intentional and put on a new worship CD that we just bought.  One of the songs is so catchy and I just love the words, and the kids were singing it all the way to school.  I think it shall be my new Mantra:)  Here are just a few of the words: "Seems that there are times that will never make sense on this side of Heaven.  Injustice so intense.  Open your eyes now, cuz the worst part is over.  IT'S A GOOD DAY TO HAVE A GOOD DAY!!

Let's claim this everyday for ourselves and our families!!  Let's intentionally live for today!

Can't Believe It!

So, I never thought I would be doing this.  In fact, I have even been a little negative in my head about blogging and those that do it:)  My thoughts were, wow that's a little self centered and narcisistic.  But, then the today I was talking with the Lord as I was folding laundry and praying for my son's speech he has to give in his 5th grade class.  And the Lord was encouraging me on "being intentional" with my kiddos.  That is something I strive extremely hard to be.  Actually I strive hard to be intentional in life in general.  I think that if we don't we can become overwhelmed with busyness, to many things pulling us in too many directions.  It is seriously the way of the world these days.  And we, as christians are supposed to be set apart from the world, right?  Wow how hard is that sometimes.  I don't want to be that mom that is being pulled in so many directions that I cannot be intentionally involved and "present" with my children. 

If that means that I have to write our family nights on the calendar, or only allow one extra curricular activity for each child, or make sure that we have a sit down dinner at least a few nights out of the week then those are the things I will "intentionally" do.  I think that in todays society we actually are taught that the longer the lists of errands we've run, jobs we have or activities our kids are involved in the higher the level of "motherhood".  That's total crap in my opinion, and yes I have a lot of opinions:)

The first thing that I strive to be intentional with his my Lord.  The second, is my husband and the third, my children.  I decided this a couple of years ago when they got into the upper elementary grades and really started developing socially.  I want to be someone they feel they can turn to.  So far so good and they are in 3rd and 5th grade.......almost middle school for my son and that FREAKS me out a little:)  Anyway, I want them to know and feel that our family unit is a team.  I want them to feel that whatever we go through there is stability in our "team." 

I definately do not have it close to figured out but I feel like the Lord wants me to share some things I have already learned and others maybe as I'm learning them.  I just hope they will encourage other moms to also live life intentionally.  I know some moms that run around so frazzled and they are stay at home moms but they on not enjoying what is one of our highest callings.  I can testify that we can enjoying being moms and pouring into our kids lives.  Do I have crazy days where I want to run into a field and scream?  Absolutely!!:)  But I believe if we are living life intentionally and experiencing the Lord's peace those days should be few and far between:)

Two other examples of intentional living that I do with my kiddos: 
~Every night at the dinner table we go around the table and say one positive thing about our day and one challenging thing.
~Every day on the way to school in the car we pray together for their day and our day as a family.

Remember:  Live your life intentionally, we only get to live it once:)